Constructive criticism. Someone decided to add the word constructive to the word criticism to soften the meaning. The critic, in this case, would be choosing to help build you up by tearing you down. It seems counterproductive, but it works most of the time, because we hear the word constructive and we change the way we receive what is going to come next, the criticism.
Some people in my life have meant well, but they came across as stern, uncaring, and judgmental. Others have not meant to help me, but their snarky remarks actually made me self-evaluate. The difference is in our perception of what is happening. The people who have meant well but did not succeed in making me look inside my heart to see if I should change, were not invested in my life. They had not contributed anything of value and therefore, their motives were good, but without that connection I did not choose to receive their remarks. Others who tried to hurt me with their mean-spirited comments, actually had been involved in my life in a greater capacity. I did not like what was said and I was attempting to prove them wrong when I took a closer look at myself. Sometimes they were right and I had some work to do to improve. Other times they were not, but I still chose to examine my heart.
JEREMIAH 17:9
The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?
According to Jeremiah, the heart is more deceitful than anything and very wicked. He questions who can know what is in our hearts. You may think you know what is inside your heart. You may feel as though you have a good grasp on your emotions and what you have let go of, or held on to, in your heart. The Bible tells us in this verse that it is deceitful and wicked. Even for a believer? Yes! Why? The reason our hearts deceive us and is considered wicked is that we can store things up in our heart and forget all about it. We do not dwell on the thing anymore. Perhaps someone has hurt us and caused us to harbor unforgiveness in our hearts about a particular situation and we do not even remember it anymore after a while. One day, something is said or done, and that feeling of anger or resentment rises up. The buried roots of bitterness have grown and now the problem must be dealt with.
Who can know our hearts? Jeremiah asks a great question. The Psalmist David seemed to have found the answer to this question. It will help us greatly today if we listen to the words he penned.
PSALM 139:23-24
23 Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts:
24 And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.
David was a man after God's own heart, but he was not a perfect man. He was a terrific shepherd. He loved the sheep and took great care of them. He was responsible enough to leave them in the care of another shepherd he trusted when he had to run an errand for his father. David was a man of courage when he stood before Goliath armed with only a sling and five smooth stones. He came in the name of the Lord of Hosts. He was a talented harpist and psalmist. He praised God in the good times and in the bad. He was a noble king and did wonderful things for Israel. Yet he was not without fault.
David was also the man responsible for stealing Uriah's wife and then having Uriah killed when Uriah did not cooperate with David's plan to cover up the adultery. David was prideful when he numbered the people. He was a human being with faults and flaws just like the rest of us. He felt fear when he fled for his life when Saul tried to kill him.
What sets David apart is that he was quick to repent and turn from wrong-doing. He received criticism and searched his heart for sin, so that he could make things right with God. Remember the conversation he had with Nathan the prophet after he had an affair with Bath-sheba, Uriah's wife. It went like this:
2 Samuel 12 King James Version (KJV)
12 And the Lord sent Nathan unto David. And he came unto him, and said unto him, There were two men in one city; the one rich, and the other poor.
2 The rich man had exceeding many flocks and herds:
3 But the poor man had nothing, save one little ewe lamb, which he had bought and nourished up: and it grew up together with him, and with his children; it did eat of his own meat, and drank of his own cup, and lay in his bosom, and was unto him as a daughter.
4 And there came a traveller unto the rich man, and he spared to take of his own flock and of his own herd, to dress for the wayfaring man that was come unto him; but took the poor man's lamb, and dressed it for the man that was come to him.
5 And David's anger was greatly kindled against the man; and he said to Nathan, As the Lord liveth, the man that hath done this thing shall surely die:
6 And he shall restore the lamb fourfold, because he did this thing, and because he had no pity.
7 And Nathan said to David, Thou art the man. Thus saith the Lord God of Israel, I anointed thee king over Israel, and I delivered thee out of the hand of Saul;
8 And I gave thee thy master's house, and thy master's wives into thy bosom, and gave thee the house of Israel and of Judah; and if that had been too little, I would moreover have given unto thee such and such things.
9 Wherefore hast thou despised the commandment of the Lord, to do evil in his sight? thou hast killed Uriah the Hittite with the sword, and hast taken his wife to be thy wife, and hast slain him with the sword of the children of Ammon.
10 Now therefore the sword shall never depart from thine house; because thou hast despised me, and hast taken the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be thy wife.
11 Thus saith the Lord, Behold, I will raise up evil against thee out of thine own house, and I will take thy wives before thine eyes, and give them unto thy neighbour, and he shall lie with thy wives in the sight of this sun.
12 For thou didst it secretly: but I will do this thing before all Israel, and before the sun.
13 And David said unto Nathan, I have sinned against the Lord. And Nathan said unto David, The Lord also hath put away thy sin; thou shalt not die.
14 Howbeit, because by this deed thou hast given great occasion to the enemies of the Lord to blaspheme, the child also that is born unto thee shall surely die.
15 And Nathan departed unto his house. And the Lord struck the child that Uriah's wife bare unto David, and it was very sick.
So Nathan gives David a parable to help David see how wrong he had been in what he did. In verse 7, Nathan said to David, "You are the man!" David was confronted with his sin. That is some sharp criticism. David reacts in verse 13, "I have sinned against the LORD. He does not try to excuse himself, justify what he did, blame someone else, or minimize the sin. He fully admits that he was wrong and that he did not sin against himself or someone else, but he did this against God.
Our family and friends should be watching out for us. They should be loving enough to tell us when we go off course. We may know we are doing wrong, but sometimes we don't face it until the only choice we have is to look in the mirror. We need to be like David, quick to own up to our mistakes and bad decisions. Don't let humiliation, embarrassment, fear, or anger prevent you from facing up to what you did.
The Bible is full of wisdom and teachings to help us. The Bible says in 2 Timothy 3:16, 17 All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness: That the man of God may be perfect, thoroughly furnished unto all good works.
Open the Bible, let God lead you by His Holy Spirit and teach you the things you need to know. Let the Holy Spirit work on your heart as He reveals the thoughts and intentions of your heart. If you find unforgiveness, bitterness, anger, fear, or doubt in your heart, let it go and let God give you a heart to forgive, sweetness, joy, and faith. I will be doing the very same thing.
I hope something I have said has given you strength for your journey and light for you way! God bless you!
~Bridgett Owens
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