Appreciation | Thankful Thursday

Sometimes the ones we love the most do not know how we truly feel about them until we tell them. It seems simple enough. Saying things like please, thank you, and you're welcome are good manners. Telling someone you love them is kind and can be reassuring. But, lately it has occurred to me that I do not tell my husband how important he is to me and our family. This week I found out how powerful verbally expressing my appreciation for my husband is.

Paul is my best friend. He is the strength in our marriage. He has muscles and he can lift heavy things. He knows how to fix almost anything. He thinks through things much quicker than I and he has really good ideas. He gets up very early every single morning Monday through Friday and goes to work. He does not ever complain about having to work so hard and drive so far to and from work (1 hour and 15 minutes one way). He is steady, dependable, reliable, and that makes me comfortable. Being a Christian husband is far harder than being a husband in general. He has the responsibility of leading our family in a way that pleases God. I rely on Paul to lead our family. He appreciates my feedback and we discuss things. He is no dictator, but he truly has the final say. In our marriage it is God first, then Paul, then me, and then our children. That is not a popular chain of command but God created it and you know what? It actually works! I tried the other way and it goes left real quick! Not a fun way to live.

Since moving back to Indiana, we have had a lot of fun times, happy times, joyful times. We made new friends, found our HOME church, and witnessed the power of God move so many times. It is incredible the amount of spiritual growth we have all encountered in this season of our life. We have also had a lot of disappointments, grief over loved ones who passed on. We have had people let us down, turn their backs on us, and hurt us in ways they could never know. This can take a toll on us, especially my husband. He is often quiet about things he feels. He hates to see his wife or children hurting and especially when that pain came from another person. So he does his best to keep pointing us back to Jesus and I will be honest here, he has his work cut out for him on this one. Sometimes I just want to be like Peter when he cut off the soldier's ear in an effort to protect Jesus. Paul, like Jesus did in the garden, reminds me we do not war against flesh and blood. He is right.

We had hoped to have our own home by now. That has been the single one thing that we have battled the most. Trusting God's timing when our own calendar flips month after month and nothing happens that we can see, it is frustrating. Stress at work for Kadesia and for Paul and for myself can really add to that frustration. Sickness that won't leave Kadesia's body since June can literally take parents to the brink when we have done all the things and she still has fevers that are above 103 and a heart rate that scares physicians! This is real life and these things can take a toll. And who do I share these feelings with? I tell my husband. I need him. I need his prayers. I need him to hold me and reassure me that someday soon our lives will not feel so out of control and awful! But who holds Paul?

Of course we know God holds us all in the palm of His hands and that will never change. Remember the scripture in Romans 8:35-39 that reads, "Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? As it is written, For Thy sake we are killed all the day long; we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter. Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him that loved us. For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, no powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

But in the natural, when we need a hug, or an outlet, a safe place to vent and yell and cry, where can Paul go? If he has to be the pillar in our family: strong, steadfast, and immovable, where can he go? He goes to God first and then he comes to me. He lets me knows what areas he feels weak in. He knows it's a safe place to tell me his insecurities. And it is my duty not only as his wife, but as a Christian, a servant of Jesus, to build my husband up. I am to encourage him and uplift him. I am to pray for him and empower him to continue to lead well.

Ladies, please, make that safe place available to your husbands. I have not always done this and there were times I did not do it well. But do not stop trying to be the help meet you were created to be for that man in your life. Instead of listening to other women complain about their husbands, we must honor ours. Instead of finding fault with the spiritual leaders of our homes, we need to show them respect and love and appreciation. The world will not do this for them. Other women can stroke their ego, but they will not do this for them. It is up to us, to be the women of God we are called to be. God handpicked us for these men to be the helper and friend and companion they need. Let us make a safe haven of rest for our husbands because they need it, too.

I have seen a woman spend a great deal of time on an elaborate meal for their family and then criticize everyone and everything the entire time. It was so bad at one point, my husband and I just looked at one another and exchanged disappointed glances. The atmosphere was uncomfortable to say the least. She continued to point out her husband's flaws and shortcomings and he was getting embarrassed and upset. We need to honor our husbands and lift them up every chance we get.

You may think, "Bridgett you don't know my husband. You don't know his bad habits and his attitude. How can I honor a man like that?" I understand it can be a challenge. I truly do. But, we are to love others more than ourselves. Pray for your husband to see where he is not lining up to God and ask God to work in his heart. But don't say amen and go on with your day. While you are having a conversation with God, ask Him to change your heart, too. Ask Him to show you how to be more loving, more kind, more respectful. Maybe the moment he walks through the door is not the best time to start unloading about your day. Ask how his day was. Talk to him and listen. Take the time to be present in the moment.

Friends we have to stop looking at everything through the lens of "How Does This Make Me Feel" and we need to prefer others above ourselves. Look to the needs of others. Read the book of Romans, chapter 12 and see how we should treat one another. We should never treat total strangers kinder than we do our own flesh and blood. We are the children of God and He told us to love one another and that is how the world will know we belong to Him.

1 CORINTHIANS 13:4-8a (4)Charity [love] suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, (5)Doth not behave itself unseemly [rudely], seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; (6)Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; (7)Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. (8a) Charity [love] never faileth:

1 CORINTHIANS 13:4-8a {ESV} (4)Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant (5)or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; (6)it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. (7)Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. (8a)Love never fails. 

The Bible is very clear what love is. We know God is love and these verses in 1 Corinthians tell us the character of God's love. It is the same way He wants us to operate in love when we engage with others including our spouses. So let's take a quiz. How patient and kind are we? Do we envy other women who we think have better husbands? Are we bragging on ourselves and become arrogant and prideful? Are we rude? Come on now ladies. You know some of this hurts! Do we insist on our own way? Why do we just assume our way is better? And even if his way is not better it can still be good. If it is not good, then can we please give grace and mercy for times our husbands fail? We all need room to make mistakes. It is how we become better. Are we irritable or resentful? A friend of mine would complain about how much work she had to do around the house but she did not want to confront the issue of no one helping. She had set the standard so high that her kids said, "If we did do something to help, it would not be right and she would just do it over anyway." We have to let others help us or we have no reason to resent that they are not helping. What do we rejoice in? Are we encouraging bad behaviors or are we rejoicing in the right choices they make? Or do we ever tell them how proud we are that they are making good choices for the family? We cannot tell them they are wrong and never praise them for being right. Would we want to be talked to like that? Love endures all things and never fails. God loves us like this and we want our husbands to love us like this. So, let's make an effort to love them back like this.

I have never met a happily married couple who said, "Our marriage is awesome and it takes 0% from us!" Paul and I have been married for 21 years and it's tough sometimes. It is hard! Life is hard and so is marriage. There is more responsibility, more accountability, more to navigate and work through, but I love Paul more now than I did 21 years ago. I love Paul more now when I see him on his face at the altar at church asking God how he can be more like Him! I love Paul more when I see him pray about something before he moves on it. It was not always like that. He is more in tune with God now and that translates to everything he does.

I thank God for my husband. I am so thankful that Paul and I made it when others said it would never last. I am thankful that God gave me a wonderful husband and I tell him a lot, but not as much as I should. What are you thankful for this THANKFUL THURSDAY?

God bless you!

~Bridgett Owens

How To Act In The Presence Of Jesus | Fuel For The Weekend

John the Baptist was the herald for Jesus. He preached about Jesus. He taught about Jesus. He saw Jesus! He said, "Behold the Lamb of God, which taketh away the sin of the world." This is recorded in John 1:29. Jesus walks up to John in the book of Matthew and I just imagine the men look into one another's eyes and there is an exchange much like when they were in their mother's wombs. The Bible says John leaped in his mother's womb when Mary walked in with Jesus in hers. The exchange must have been powerful.

John thought so much of Jesus, in John 1:26-27, he answered the Pharisees, "I baptize with water: but there standeth one among you, whom ye know not; He it is, who coming after me is preferred before me, whose shoe's latchet I am not worthy to unloose." Do you understand that John recognized Jesus was the Son of the Living God? He told the Pharisees that they were standing in a crowd of people and one of the people in that crowd is the Lamb of God! John said I am not even worthy to loosen His sandals. He did not feel that he was worthy of touching the feet of Jesus because of what John knew about Jesus. What do we think about Jesus?

How many times do we rush to ask God for a need? We pray God I need You to do X, Y, and Z. Do we stop first to honor Him? Do we acknowledge Him in reverence? When we enter His courts and into His gates we are to do so with praise and thanksgiving. We should not rush to demand something from the Messiah, our King. Jesus taught us to pray, "Our Father who art in heaven hallowed be Thy name." Hallow it, revere it. He is the Most High God and we must not just rush into prayer, "God do this! God You've gotta move! Do this... do that.... no, take a moment to honor the King. We must humble ourselves before Him. Respect Him!

Jesus approaches John and there is this exchange that we don't read about it, but we know it had to have happened. When we encounter Jesus, there is an exchange that happens. Jesus wants John to baptize Him. Can you believe that? John almost couldn't. He said, "You should baptize me!" I love that Jesus tells him, "Allow it to be. It is appropriate for us to fulfill all righteousness." Matthew 3:15 You see, Jesus did not cut corners. He did not take liberties or partake of special privileges, even though He could have because He is God! No, He fulfilled all of the law. He did it all perfectly to the letter because we never could get it right. He was made righteousness for us. Jesus did not need baptism but He always led by example.

Time has passed and we move to Matthew chapter 14. John has beheaded by Herod because he made a stupid promise to a young girl while he was drunk and full of himself. The wicked wife of Herod's, who was originally his brother's wife, wanted John the Baptist's head on a charger. He had to keep his promise and so it was. Jesus heard about it and he left in a ship to a remote area over the see of Galilee. Jesus wanted to be alone, no doubt, but when the multitude of people heard about it, they followed Him. They walked along and in our natural state, we might have told the people to go away. We may have said, "I just need to be alone. I need to get my thoughts together. I need to grieve in my own way. Please give me some time." But Jesus did not do that. In verse 14 Jesus saw the great multitude and was moved with compassion for them. He healed the sick among them. And I just wonder what it would be like if we move forward like Jesus did, and we see the multitude of people who are dying and going to hell, lost and in need of a Savior, and what if we just put our own feelings aside for a moment, our own problems, our own trials, and what if we pushed past all that to have compassion and pray for the sick to be healed of Jesus. What would that look like in our churches? What would that look like in our schools? What would that look like in our neighborhoods? What would that look like in society?

Reading on in this chapter, we see that Jesus tells His disciples to feed the people and He performs the miracle we know today as the Loaves and the Fishes. After the people had been healed and fed Jesus lovingly sends them all away and then we pick up reading in verse 23, "And when He had sent the multitudes away, He went up into a mountain apart to pray: and when the evening was come, He was there alone. He finally gets the quiet time He desired. He finally gets to be alone with His Father. That tells me that when we are hurting ourselves, troubled, or upset we must press on to keep working for the Master. We must not let our flesh take a vote. We need to tend to the needs of those He has entrusted into our care. And after we have met their needs and lovingly sent them away, then we can be alone to pray and rest in His presence.

The last point I want to make about this passage, though there are so many more points I could make, is what happened next. Let's read:

MATTHEW 14:24-27 (24)But the ship was now in the midst of the sea, tossed with waves: for the wind was contrary. (25)And in the fourth watch of the night Jesus went unto them, walking on the sea. (26)And when the disciples saw Him walking on the sea, they were troubled, saying, It is a spirit; and they cried out for fear. (27)But straightway Jesus spake unto them, saying, Be of good cheer; it is I; be not afraid.

These men are in a ship in the middle of the sea. It is in the night and the waves are crashing against their vessel. The wind is whipping up the waves and their ship starts rocking and they are in a situation they feel is out of their control. We have all been there. We get the call with the unexpected news on the other end of the line. We hear the doctor's report and we never saw it coming. We, like the disciples, are in a dark situation and we feel helpless to dictate the outcome. What do we do?

It is dark. It is in the middle of the night and the men see something walking on the water. They thought they saw a ghost and they began to cry out in fear. Their experience just went from bad to worse. They do not know what is coming next.

Immediately Jesus reassures them. "It is I; be not afraid." Jesus did not leave them in the dark, fearful circumstances. He immediately calmed their fears. He announced His presence and we see that it so motivated Peter that he asks Jesus to let him walk on the water too. And so Jesus lets Him. And then like all of us do, Peter took his eyes off Jesus and started looking at his circumstances. He noticed the violent wind, he felt the waves chopping against his legs, and he cried out in fear, "Lord, save me!"

We can get upset with Peter for doing that, but it is a natural thing. Jesus tells us He is with us and we feel better and we even get excited about doing something supernatural, or miraculous, for God, and then we start looking at our situation again, and we begin to sink like Peter did. But, look how Jesus responds. He IMMEDIATELY  stretched forth His hand and caught Him!

Let that sink in! He immediately stretches out His nail scarred hands and catches us! He does not let us go under. He does not let us sink. He does not tell us we are on our own. He catches us! He asks why did you doubt?

Why do we doubt? It truly is that in some situations we simply lack the faith that God will do what He said He will do. The good news is that we can say, "Lord, I believe, but help my unbelief." That was what the man said to Jesus in Mark 9:24. He was the father of a child with a dumb and deaf spirit. Jesus will give us help to believe! He continues to work on our behalf all the time. Let's not give up hope when HOPE is what Jesus gives!

The beautiful end of this story is in verse 32, "And when they were come into the ship, the wind ceased." Jesus brought Peter back to the ship and the wind stopped. The winds obey Jesus. The trials will rock us off course, leave us turned upside down and inside out, but when Jesus puts us back where we belong, the storm stops. Sometimes He calms the storm, others times He calms His children.

Think on these things this weekend, friends. This is Fuel For The Weekend. I hope something I shared today has given you strength for your journey and light for your way. God bless you!

~Bridgett Owens

Thankful For The Unexpected | Thankful Thursday

Today is my wedding anniversary. My husband and I have been married for 21 years! I praise God for that because He truly is the glue that held us together. Tonight, after work, I had a date and it was not with my husband!

Ever since my children were very small I made a point to have a special day with them. It was a way I could be intentional and present and get to know them better. We know and love our children, but sometimes we do not know their deepest desires, what really excites them and gets them fired up about life. So, this was the best way I could do that and I am so glad that I did. 

My son is 14 and he loves routine. He does not do well with change. He still calls our time together Mommy Javan Days. I asked him where he would like to eat and he said Blondie's which is a restaurant in Brownstown. He was supposed to go to a race but long story short, he spent the time with me. We had a great conversation on the drive over. We enjoyed ice cream from Jiffy Treet and more stories about what he is into right now, what records he has set and broken on his video game, and his view on the world we live in today. I loved every minute of it.

After we ate we went to Dollar Tree. We agreed on a limit to spend because he knows I can get carried away in there. And we may have went over budget (shhhh, don't tell) but it was so fun to spend that time with him. He wanted to go next door to the Dollar General to get some chips that he likes and I was happy to do that for him. He even got a Coke in a glass bottle! We had a great time riding over to my mom's so she could have the sandwich I couldn't eat and then we came back to the house. He was pretty tired from all the shopping and riding around.

This evening weather was perfect. It felt like fall and we both thanked God for the wonderful weather and the time we could spend together. I am so thankful for the unexpected moments in life where you get an up close and personal look at the biggest blessings in our lives. I am so glad he wanted to hang out with me. I am so thankful we had the opportunity.

So, while this was not the way I thought my wedding anniversary would go, I am so glad I had the best date ever! A handsome young man who loves Jesus and his momma! What a blessing he is! I am so thankful. I would like to share a couple of scriptures that came to mind and hope it gives you something to thank God for, too.

PSALM 127:3 Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is His reward.

PSALM 127:4 As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth.

1 SAMUEL 1:27 For this child I prayed; and the LORD hath given me my petition which I asked of Him:

I love both of my children and so thankful to be their momma. I am so proud to be Paul's wife and it was literally the best anniversary ever!

God bless you!

~Bridgett Owens

 

 

 

Perfect Love Casts Out Fear | Wednesday Bible Study

Hello friends! It has been a while since I last posted. I have had a lot of health issues and I continue to battle them today. I am trusting God and I know He is my healer, but for those of you who live with chronic pain you know that some days you just try to make it through the day and that's the best you can do. So, God put this topic on my heart today: Perfect love casts out fear! This is straight from the Word of God and I want to talk about that in light of situations going on in our world today.

Fear is ugly. Fear is a tactic from the enemy to keep us stagnant, to prevent us from doing anything for God, and to keep us bound. When we live in a place of fear we get anxious, we get depressed, we lose hope and we are not effective workers in God's Kingdom. So the enemy loves to use fear.

The news is full of scary stories: a young family went to a park and was later found dead; a young girl engaged to be married, found dead after being away on a trip with her fiance; the violence in Afghanistan; reports of increased cases of the Vid and the division of Camp Poke and Camp Nope. There are stressful situations all around us and the enemy is working so hard to get us frustrated and upset but God has a plan and today we are getting our hope back, our joy back, and our freedom back!

1 JOHN 4:12-19 (12)No man hath seen God at any time. If we love one another, God dwelleth in us, and His love is perfected in us. (13)Hereby know we that we dwell in Him, and He in us, because He hath given us of His Spirit. (14)And we have seen and do testify that the Father sent the Son to be the Saviour of the world. (15)Whosoever shall confess that Jesus is the Son of God, God dwelleth in him, and he in God. (16)And we have known and believed the love that God hath to us. God is love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him. (17)Herein is our love made perfect, that we may have boldness in the day of judgment: because as He is, so are we in this world. (18)There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love. (19)We love Him because He first loved us.

Take the time today to read 1 John chapter four. It is a wonderful chapter that will give you more insight into what we are talking about today. I want to go over today's passage with you and give you some hope.

God is love. It is not just what He does, it is who He is. He is love. There is no love apart from God. So when we recognize Jesus is the Son of God and we believe in Him, we are saved. As Christians, we are in fellowship with Jesus. He lives in our heart and He placed His Holy Spirit inside of us. We have power and authority that God gave us through Jesus to overcome all the trials of this life. God is PERFECT LOVE.

It is hard to understand perfect love because as humans we love our parents, our children, our friends, our spouses, etc. but we do not love perfectly. We make mistakes. We get offended. We do not love perfectly. God's love is perfect. There is no flaw in it. There are no mistakes. He loves us unconditionally as a sinner as well as a child of God. He loved us first. His great love covered the multitude of sins we have. So how can we experience perfect love?

We need to have quiet time alone with God. We need to hang a do not disturb sign on the door and spend some time with Him. We cannot have a meaningful relationship with someone if we only use them for what we need and want and never spend time in their presence, getting to know them. There are so many facets of God's character. We need to spend quality time with Him to know Him and learn about Him. Remember Matthew 11:28-30 where Jesus offers us that sweet rest for our weary souls? He tells us to learn who He is. Get to know Him.

When we are in the presence of God fear cannot stay. It leaves! It cannot hold us down or hold us back. We are free in the presence of God. We must draw near to Him. Instead of turning on the news to get an update, slip away to a place you can hear from God and see what His view is on the things in the world. Instead of stressing over things you cannot control, tune in to the Word of God and read the Good News! We know there will be trouble in the world because Jesus told us there would be. He said there would be diseases and wars and rumors of wars. He told us that the hearts of many would grow cold; that people would be lovers of themselves and compassion would diminish. Friends, we know that these things will happen but remember what Jesus said? 

JOHN 16:33 These things I have spoken unto you, that in Me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.

Fear and peace cannot share the same space. If your heart is full of fear, doubt, dread, and stress then you are not living in peace. There is peace that comes from God that the world cannot give. This peace is sweet and it is beyond comprehension. In the middle of the storm, when the waves are crashing against you, and you feel like you are going under for the last time, when you turn your eyes on Jesus you will see His extended hand and He will rescue you. He did not leave us without hope. He is coming back. Things are bleak right now. Things are discouraging right now, but we do not hope for things in this world. We put our hope in Jesus Christ. He loves us. He loves with a perfect love and He is going to make all the crooked paths straight. He works to untie the knots and tangles in our situations. He heals and restores. He mends the brokenhearted. Let's get our hopes up again. Turn to the Master and let Him lead you out of the land of the fearful and into the land of the free. God has you in the palm of His hand and He will never, NEVER let you go!

I hope that something I have shared today has been strength for your journey and light for your way. God bless you!

~Bridgett Owens