Thankful For Death? | Thankful Thursday

I am thankful for God taking my loved ones, even though I prayed He wouldn't.

That statement sure does sound funny, doesn't it? Why would I be happy my loved ones died? I am not happy, but I can rejoice in knowing where they went and have hope I can one day join them. I did not want my dad to die. I was very clear in my prayers I wanted God to give my dad a miraculous healing. I did not want my dad to have cancer anymore or the paralyzing effects of the stroke. I wanted a divine miracle where my dad was restored to health. It was a tall order and God is very capable of answering my prayer in a supernatural, extraordinary way. But I also prayed for God to have His way. And so I was at peace when the initial shock and extreme grief left.

Do you remember in the Bible when David saw Bathsheba naked? He desired to have her, it consumed him, but there was one problem; she was another man's wife. David had more than one wife. He could have chosen any number of women to add to his collection, but he was fixated on someone else's woman. He had someone bring her to his bedchamber. Scripture does not tell us if she was willing to commit adultery with King David or if she felt like she had to because of David's power and position. Regardless the two were intimate and she conceived.

Now David has a real problem. He not only slept with another man's wife; he got her pregnant. Now David tried to be clever and have her husband come home from war and sleep with his wife, but Uriah was too noble to do that. He knew his comrades were missing their families too and if they were out in battle, he wanted to be, too. So Uriah did not take advantage of some alone time with his wife. David's plan to cover things up backfired. He knew in time it would be obvious that his wife was pregnant and the math was just not going to add up, so he has Uriah sent to the front lines and killed. Now that Uriah is out of the way, David can marry her and raise his own child. But there is another issue that David did not consider in the heat of his passion.

God saw the whole thing! God was upset. David was a man after God's own heart, but this is not something God would ever go for. So God sends a messenger, Nathan the prophet. Nathan pays David a visit in 2 Samuel chapter 12. Nathan knows that David is mostly an upstanding guy, an ethical man. So he tells David a story. He tells David that there are two men in a city, one is rich and the other is poor. The poor man had nothing except one little lamb. The poor man had raised the little lamb and it was like a member of his own family. The rich man had all kinds of lambs to choose from, but when he needed to kill a lamb to have a dinner party, he chose the poor man's lamb. The rich man stole that poor man's lamb and fed it to his dinner guest. 

David was so upset about what Nathan had told him. David demanded that whoever did such a thing would pay dearly for that lamb. He was outraged that anyone would be so cruel to do so. In fact, David went so far as to say that the rich man would die for doing this because he had no pity. Nathan looked at David and said, "You are the man."

Whoa! What a blow that must have been. He could have reacted a lot of different ways but David immediately confessed that he had sinned. He did not try to deny it, cover it up, excuse it away; he simply admitted that he was wrong. God did not make David pay for this transgression with his life, but God did say He would take David's son away from him. What a terrible feeling that must have been. David knew the baby was innocent but God had made His decision.

2 SAMUEL 12:16-23 David therefore besought God for the child; and David fasted, and went in, and lay all night upon the earth. And the elders of his house arose, and went to him, to raise him up from the earth: but he would not, neither did he eat bread with them. And it came to pass on the seventh day, that the child died. And the servants of David feared to tell him that the child was dead: for they said, Behold, while the child was yet alive, we spake unto him, and he would not hearken unto our voice: how will he then vex himself, if we tell him that the child is dead? But when David saw that his servants whispered, David perceived that the child was dead: therefore David said unto his servants, Is the child dead? And they said, He is dead. Then David arose from the earth, and washed, and anointed himself, and changed his apparel, and came into the house of the LORD, and worshipped: then he came to his own house, and when he required, they set bread before him, and he did eat. Then said his servants unto him, What thing is this that thou hast done? thou didst fast and weep for the child, while it was alive; but when the child was dead, thou didst rise and eat bread. And he said, While the child was yet alive, I fasted and I wept: for I said, Who can tell whether GOD will be gracious to me, that the child may live? But now he is dead, wherefore should I fast? can I bring him back again? I shall go to him, but he shall not return to me.

I think about when Dad was so sick and the cancer was everywhere. The doctors gave us zero hope. They assumed Dad would die any day. They told us to cherish every MOMENT because they did not expect many MOMENTS to come. Mom, my brother, my sister and her husband and their children, my husband, our children, and I all joined together. We started meeting for church services in my dad's music studio. We met each week and we rallied around Dad. We prayed and fasted and we believed. We had faith and we had hope and we were expecting great things.

God gave us many miracles with Dad. But one day God told me that Dad would not see the New Year. I was so upset. I cried. I begged God to not let Dad go on Kadesia's birthday, so He honored that request. He took Daddy home the evening of Kadesia's birthday party, December 29, 2013. 

I am glad my Dad is no longer in pain, not suffering, not miserable and disabled. My dad served God his whole life. He made mistakes, and chose to run after other things and away from his calling for a while, but in the end he came back to God with everything in him. It seems that facing eternity will make a person take stock of their life. Dad was given the gift of time and he had a lot of it to reflect on his life and the way he raised us and the things he taught us intentionally and unintentionally. He had the opportunity to repent of some stuff, to ask forgiveness from some people, and to make things right between him and God. 

When Dad went to be with God, I did not pray or fast for him anymore. There was no bringing him back. There was no trying to bargain with God for a Lazarus-type resurrection. Dad got what he wanted, to be with God. So I did something similar to David. I worshiped God for being good and faithful. I thanked God for the Comforter who will comfort like none other. I thanked God for the good times and the laughter and the new memories of a wonderful earthly father. I knew that I could not bring Dad back, but I have confidence that one day I will go to him.

We do not always understand God's ways or His timing. Why did God punish David by killing his baby? Why did God not let things happen differently for Dad? We can worry ourselves sick over the questions, or we can embrace the truth that God's timing is not our own and His ways are higher than ours and we cannot figure them out. (Isaiah 55:8-9 and Romans 11:33)

Death is not easy. We have lost a lot of wonderful people recently. Last year cancer took many of my relatives' lives and spilled over into the first few days of this year. We do not know everything God is doing. We do not always understand, but He promised to never leave us or forsake us, but will go with us all the way to the end of the world if we allow Him to. (Matthew 28:20 and Hebrews 13:5)

If you are suffering loss or enduring sickness, hardship, or despair please remember that Jesus loves you. He is walking through this with you and He is near to you. Do not allow the grief to consume you. Stay close to Jesus. His Word says He is near to the brokenhearted. (Luke 4:18, Isaiah 61:1, Matthew 5:4) He promises we will be comforted and I can attest that is the truth.

I pray healing, comfort, peace, and love be yours today in the name of Jesus. God bless you!

~Bridgett Owens